Hugs for Sale
by strangertrack
Summary: You can put a price on anything, even a hug. Bel & Mammon.


Inspired by the volume cover where Bel is holding Mammon. I don't know if that's common in the manga, but it's certainly not in the anime as far as I've seen. Is it even possible to write Varia (semi-)fluff while keeping them IC? I probably should have written TYL fic titled _Sex for Sale _instead.

Link to Vietnamese translation available in my profile.

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**Hugs for Sale**

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Careful, be careful. The Prince musn't make a peep or the little bird will startle.

Slowly, move slowly. Any sudden movement and the little bird may flit away.

Patience, practice patience. The little bird is almost within reach.

"What? Is that you, Bel?"

Bel froze in the act of pouncing, arms outstretched and knees bent and ready to spring.

"Che. You noticed me?" Bel stuffed his hands into his pockets and kicked a pebble, looking less like a dangerous assassin and more like a sulking teen. "I thought for sure that I hid my presence this time."

Mammon rose off the ground so that he was hovering at eye-level. It was a pretty pointless gesture since both sets of eyes were hidden. But at least there was less chance of pounce-age at that height.

"What do you want?" Mammon finally said after a few seconds of their silent non-staring contest.

Bel shrugged. "The Prince is bored," he said evasively.

"That's not really an answer."

"Did you get the present I left you?"

"Present?" Mammon bobbed a little closer. "Ah, that."

"Shishishi, isn't it pretty? I immediately thought of you."

"Only cats would leave dead things at people's doorsteps and think it was a gift."

Bel's mouth turned down into a little frown, voice laced with disappointment. "You didn't like it?"

"It costs money to shampoo blood out of carpet and dispose of a body. I'll forward you the bill, with interest for my pain and suffering."

"You don't sound like you're suffering."

"Nevertheless. Nothing in the world is free."

"I would kill for free. And hugs are free, too."

"My hugs aren't."

Bel tilted his head curiously, silky gold hair falling to the side. "How much would it cost for a hug from Mammon?"

Mammon quickly calculated the risk to his body during such an intimate gesture requiring near proximity to someone known as Prince the Ripper, and the distastefulness he would have to endure of such a disgustingly cute act.

"The price of a C-rank mission. Per second," he stated firmly.

"Uwa~ this chibi's a tough negotiator. That's a little high, isn't it? I could buy several blowjobs for that price."

"You can also get diseases doing that."

Bel considered that. "Are Mammon's hugs that special?" he asked, pure innocence in stark contrast to Mammon's shrewd connivance.

"You won't know unless you try. There are no refunds."

Bel started to reach out but stopped himself. "But I don't want to pay for Mammon's hugs," he pouted. "I want you to give it to me for free."

"What did I say? Nothing in the world is free."

"What if I give you a present? And you can thank me with a hug?" Bel cajoled. "Come on, a hug from a Prince is something special indeed! You should feel honored that I'm even offering."

"A dead body is not a present."

"But it's pretty and polished." Bel pulled out a necklace of bones, tiny delicate phalanges and metacarpals polished and bleached to unnatural whiteness, linked together with razor sharp wire.

"Pass."

Scowling, Bel threw himself onto the grass cross-legged and started toying with the necklace. "Well, I didn't want your stupid hug anyway. The Prince was just bored."

Mammon shrugged as he floated back down. He didn't really care either way. Money was good, but so was personal safety. Bel was a strange one and you could never quite predict what he would do next.

"Infuriating brat, thinks he's too good for the Prince. You'd probably have cast an illusion and let me just _think_ I was hugging you anyway," Bel continued to grumble.

"Probably," Mammon admitted.

Mammon's feet had barely touched the ground when Bel pounced, hands grabbing the baby's waist hard enough to bruise.

"!"

"Ushishishishi~ Mam~mon ge~t~~ The Prince is so clever~~" Bel gloated, airplaning Mammon dizzily before settling him into his lap, arms wrapped tight around him to prevent escape.

It wasn't exactly pleasant, this foreign human contact. Bel was by no means soft. He was all bones and sharp angles, and his chin was digging uncomfortably into the top of Mammon's head. More importantly still, this was _Bel_, the slashing prince, the genius assassin of Varia who could switch from benign passivity to psychotic killer mode inside a heartbeat.

A few seconds passed by while Bel snuggled Mammon like a favorite stuffed toy.

"It's been fifteen seconds. I expect the money in my account by tonight. Fifteen times the C-rank price," Mammon reminded.

There was no simmering death threats, just soft, rhythmic breathing.

Mammon plucked at the arms around him, iron-tight around him even in sleep. Bel would probably doze for another twenty minutes.

20 minutes meant 1200 seconds on top of the 15 seconds already passed. And mustn't forget to add a hefty penalty for rough handling, which would mean that the prince without a kingdom may even owe him after Mammon had emptied out his bank account.

And with the toichi, the debt would continue multiplying until Bel might as well sign over all his future paychecks to him.

Mammon smiled. Perhaps hugs were very nice things indeed.

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**The End.**

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Note: toichi = 10% interest every 10 days

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November 17, 2008


End file.
